Marital Counseling

As a psychologist with over 30 years of experience, I have had the opportunity to work with couples from all walks of life, both married, unmarried and living together, who reached out for help in getting through crisis in their relationship. In addition, as a forensic psychologist in nys family court for over 20 years, I also learned first hand what families in crisis are going thru. Also, as a husband to my wonderful wife of 12 years, I have also learned much about what it takes to maintain and grow a loving marriage.

When you reach out to my office for help, I will draw upon this vast experience to help you and your partner go thru and resolve whatever crisis or situation has evolved in your relationship. And, if you are considering a deeper comitment with a potential life partner, I can also help you and them to develop a much more harmonious relationship.

Oftentimes, one member of the relationship is suffering greatly and will display a number of psychological symptoms need my help. These can include sleep disturbance, emotional upset, feeling overwhelmed, angry resentful and depressed, or feeling vulnerable helpless and abused. At times, it will be this member that initiates a call for help. Other times though, it will be the other partner, who has been given an ultimatum by the suffering partner to seek out help. Despite who may initially seek out help, it is usually the case that both partners have contributed to the present crisis and in the end, both partners can best solve it with our help.

There are many reasons why a marriage can run into troubled waters and require marriage counseling or couples counseling. First there are external factors. There is financial stress brought about by the economy, and false stereotypes sold on tv as to what a “normal relationship” is to consist of. There are family and peer expectations that also can put a marriage or a relationship on the rocks.

In addition to all these, there are expectations that each member of the relationship brings to it. When these expectations seem to be out of line with the genuine self of the other partner, conflicts often can ensue.

While both parties of a relationship need to learn each other, love and nurture each other, this can also be rendered difficult by certain behaviors of the other partner which make carrying on a relationship difficult. In those cases, it is often necessary to work with that partner to see if they are motivated to, wish to, and will put in the effort to bringing their behavior and attitudes more in line with those necessary to maintain a healthy relationship. Just as a plant needs water soil and care to grow, so does a relationship, and certain behaviors and attitudes, for example drug abuse, may make it difficult for the drug abusing partner to behave in the caring and loving way necessary to maintain and grow a relationship. In situations like these, individual work with that partner often seems indicated if the relationship is to survive and flourish.

Of course at times, in marriage counseling, issues of communication, trust, and compromise need to be worked out and I often find it necessary to impart training in interpersonal skills. However, beyond that, I have found that when partners in a relationship learn the true meaning of love, respect, and and friendship, that is when the relationship can turn around and flourish.

If you are in a troubled relationship, I invite you to call and make an appointment so together we can see how i can best help you as I have helped many many other couples throughout the years. You can reach me at our office at 1 800 576 phds (7437) or by email at
thetopdoc@att.net or by using the contact form below. I look forward to helping you.

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